Have To Start Somewhere

Today was to long. I swear,if I ever have to be in the car for that long, I'm going to freak out. My claustrophobia almost got to me, but thankfully, I controlled it. Oh, what I would do just not to go to Greenville this weekend. Wish I could have stayed at Gloria's for the weekend. if I had known my brother was gonna come on Tuesday, I would have asked to go with him. But NOOO I have to clean. Which we didn't even do. I spend most of my day in the back of our van, trapped, with a half dead phone, dead iPod arguing, and being quiet. Hey, at least I got taco bell on the way right? At least I had Youtube, and Kik. And didn't have a total freak out. Fine. I guess it wasn't so bad, but my back still aches, and I'm still worried about my mom, who's been having a couching fit/problem for the longest, and just got out the hospital from an allergic reaction to a hair product. I stayed at Ariel's house from last Saturday to Wednesday just to help get it off my mine. I try not to think about all the sad in my life, but it gets so hard sometimes. It only helps to think about my friends, Sims, things I love, but mostly..."him". Now, I may never reveal this special guy on here, but he means a lot. No, he's not my boyfriend -at least yet- he's just a crush. Why feeling. Why do I have to like him. Thinking of him just makes me feel better. Wish my friends would understand that, they must think I'm crazy or something. But the only other things that make me not think of him is homestuck and Sims 3. I just want him to be mine, I thought of him all day in the car. I wanna stop, I don't wanna go through pain again, but its just complicated ok? Ugh. Help me guys. What should I do? You know whats weird? I never really...dream about him...I thought you were supposed to dream of the guy of your dreams. Well anyways, I'm just a teen, and human. Its something almost every girl goes through when they have a crush. Well, I'll tell you all more in the next post. Well, Happy Holidays!

Farewell, God bless, and goodnight <3